Pencil thin, bushy, handlebar—no mustache is created equal. Whether you're aiming to grow a wiry Dali or a bushy Ron Swanson, here are nine mustache styles that will inspire you as you go for the 'mo this November
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
1
The Ron Swanson
Bear Grylls//Digital Spy
The serious man's moustache. Full, luxuriant, some might even say bushy. This is not for the pretender or the faint of heart, this is for the man who builds things with his hands and who has, at least once in his life, killed his own food. It is found most often on lumberjacks and policemen. And Ron Swanson.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
2
The Errol Flynn
Bear Grylls//Digital Spy
If you're the debonaire type who rarely appears in public without a suit on, this is your 'stache. It's also a good choice if you happen to find yourself in a lot of sword fights. Just make sure to keep it clipped and sculpted, you don't want any stray hairs getting in the way when you have to swing in from a chandelier with a dagger in your teeth.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
3
The Gunslinger
Bear Grylls//Digital Spy
Easily one of the most badass mustaches you can grow, it's also one of the hardest to pull off. Mainly because, in order to wear it, you have to be able to shoot a hole in a quarter from 50 yards. Also, you have to be the cool, quiet type with ice water in his veins. It's a look that pairs best with cowboy boots and a dusty trench coat. Stetson hat optional.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
4
The Pencil 'Stache
Bear Grylls//Digital Spy
A close cousin of the debonaire Errol Flynn, this mustache comes with a dash of camp. It's also good if you like to wear carnations in your lapel. It takes a steady hand to maintain, however—one false move and you could end up looking like a catfish.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
5
The Magnum P.I.
Bear Grylls//Digital Spy
This is a slightly more polished version of the Ron Swanson, popular among P.I.s, mariachi musicians, and news anchors. The main requirement is that you have a full upper lip to allow for follicular volume, and that the mustache itself is relatively thick. You don't want it to look like a push-broom that's lost most of its bristles.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
6
The '90s Slacker
Bear Grylls//Digital Spy
Also known as the "coffee house poet." The main points are that the mustache and goatee can't connect, and that it can't look even remotely manicured. Basically you want it to appear as if you're too intellectual, creative, and anti-establishment to bother with shaving. Accessorise it with a ratty T-shirt and willful unemployment.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
7
The Salvadore Dali
Bear Grylls//Digital Spy
For the absurdist, the most absurd of mustaches. If you like shock value, and also enjoy paintings of dripping clocks, this is the mustache style for you. In a pinch it's also a good place to hang your keys or a light scarf. To achieve this look, simply apply a generous amount of Super Glue to your 6-inch long 'stache, then have a friend point a blow dryer at your face while you hold it in place.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
8
The Brick Lane Barrista
Bear Grylls//Digital Spy
This is a great mustache for anyone who's okay with literally every person on earth making fun of them. You should already own a fixed-gear bicycle, an impressive vinyl collection, and some organic, fair trade, artisanal roasted coffee should you decide to grow one. And you should also know your way around a cocktail made with no less than 17 ingredients, four of which are flavour-infused.