Flowers. Strange aren't they? If television is to be believed, every time we’re in the doghouse we should be bursting through the door with arms full of expensive blooms for the Missus. Our Best-Dressed Real Man In Britain 2010, Ross Hancock, shares his thoughts.
In testament to the fact, mine kicks up a fuss every time she’s within a foot of a petal, livid that I never buy her flowers and branding me with the title of "world's least romantic boyfriend". But as I point out every time the subject rears its nut, where are my effing flowers?!
When was the last time you had an Interflora delivery bloke turn up on your doorstep? Never, that's when, 'cause flowers are for girls and that’s that.
I’m with Elton John when it comes to flowers. It was famously revealed in a court case that the piano man spent £293,000 on flowers in just one year. Believe me, if I could, I’d do the same.
I love flowers – they look good, they smell good and when our mums come to visit they make our flats look marginally more acceptable. So why is it that, similarly to kittens and Peter Andre: The Next Chapter, they’ve been resigned to the realm of stuff that only women will appreciate?
Gents, you can actually buy flowers without your balls falling off. The key is choosing the right ones. You needn't fill your home with pink lilies. Floristry has moved on a bit since the 80s. Try combinations of flowers and other random (more rugged) foliage in richer, darker shades and bolder shapes for a stylish display that’s a million miles away from the two quid bunches of tat from your local garage.
Take my good friends at The Willow in East London. A bijou yet genius combination of deli-come-coffee shop-come-florist on Hoxton Street. It also offers a catering service and specialises in creating modern, unique floral designs that would make even the most masculine of men lean in for a sniff.
The Willow have already been commissioned to create innovative floral pieces for numerous brands and occasions including an ongoing collaboration with Swedish brand Acne.
So next time your mate/dad/brother has a birthday, don’t give him a predictable man-to-man gift bursting with testosterone. Leave the Swiss Army Knife on the shelf. Do the right thing and buy him a bunch of blooms.
Words by Ross Hancock, Britain's best-dressed man