The season of bad cheer

There's something uniquely depressing about being reminded of Christmas when you're still mourning the end of summer. Well, the good news is that it's not all bad news - as the new range of Christmas cards from our friends at Modern Toss demonstrates. Here, Jon Link, Modern Toss co-founder and occasional Esquire contributor, explains the thinking behind this year's suitably offensive seasonal range...

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SEASONAL MOOD (top): Jon Link: "Letting old men in funny costumes give out presents to small children is bound to cause problems, looks like this situation has been caught in the nick of time. "

cheeseGOOSEWEB

CHEESE AND WINE (above) JL: "Sick of people trying to get one up on you with their christmas dinner bird choice? send them one of these, they'll soon get the message."

PARTWEARWEB

A PARTRIDGE IN A SWEAR TREE JL: "An exquisite new take on the traditional partridge tale, in which a bird balances on a twig represented by the 'o' in sod."

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TINNNEDWEB

XMAS DINNER JL: "Everyone's looking to cut costs this year, where better to start than with Christmas Dinner itself? Eat it straight out of the can then there's no washing up or titting around with the oven. We recommend one can per guest."

turkeysawWEB

MAY THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS FILL YOUR HOME JL: "Don't peak too early, at least get a bit of toast down you before the first drink."

WEBBAT

SEASONAL MOOD JL: "Keeping a baseball bat by the front door is a good idea anytime of year, but during the festive period it's bang on essential."

To advance order your Modern Toss Christmas cards visit the shop on the Modern Toss website, www.modern toss.com