Flatpack Bullies

Being in the business of providing our readers with a relevant and constantly updated snapshot of the world we live in, it’s no wonder that we’re sent a veritable mountain of press releases each week. And very occasionally, one really stands out.  

At first glance, this looked like an IKEA flat-pack assembly booklet. Interest piqued by why anyone would want to send us the instructions for a build-yourself wardrobe, we then noticed its title. Only then did it dawn that this, in fact, is a rather brilliant promo tool for 44 Inch Chest, a new movie from the makers of Sexy Beast and starring all-star British cast of Ray Winstone, Tom Wilkinson, Ian McShane, John Hurt, Stephen Dillane and, wait for it, the wonderful Joanne Whalley (truly a woman we love).

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In the film, Colin Diamond (Ray Winstone) has had his world turned upside down by the discovery that his wife has been having an affair with a much younger French waiter. Colin is angry, and after his rather unsavoury mates rally round they decide to kidnap ‘Loverboy’ and take him to a derelict house where, as these faux instructions suggest, they lock him in a wardrobe.

The film is out on January 22nd, and if it’s a quarter as good as Sexy Beast or even half as good as this very clever promo, we’ll all be – in the words of Ray Winstone – ‘very ‘appy boys’. 

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