Preface: We aren’t entirely moody, heartless bastards. We get romance. Honest.
But the TapTap – a new, Kickstarter-funded project – might be the neediest, most relationship-suffocating gadget we’ve ever laid eyes upon.
The premise is as simple as it is saccharine. You and your partner each wear a TapTap bracelet, then, when you’re apart and in the throes of pining, you can tap your own bracelet, and have your partner’s bracelet vibrate.
"It is your secret language, whether you want to say I love you or I miss you or I'm thinking of you or I'm waiting for you," says one of the developers.
Hey, don't get us wrong: the TapTap seems ideal for those relationships that, despite an incessant barrage of phone calls, text, Whatsapp, Snapchat, BBM and Facebook notifications, as well as, y'know physical interactions, seem to be missing an elusive, rumbling medium of communication.
"My passion," explains creator and all-round Cupid, Mit Gorilovsky, "is to eliminate unnecessary steps in user interfaces."
Anyway, come on: tap yours, hers vibrates? Gorilovsky and co. may have missed a trick – and a way, way more lucrative market – here.
To date, the TapTap has received more than $55,000 in pledges, prompting such questions as, "Who are these people?" and "Has disposable income become too disposable?"
See below for the backing video, in which the developers explain their goal of “creating a secret universe which only the two of you can access.” Bless.