34 Signs You Like The Gym A Bit Too Much

So, you like to “look after yourself”. But at what point does that fitness habit become the behaviour of a self-obsessed arse? Heed the warnings

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1 | You don’t exercise, you train.

2 | You’ve used the gym hair dryer on body parts other than your head.

3 | You have your own power-shake recipe. And it features loganberries.

4 | You have a favourite brand of heart-rate monitor.

5 | Your ketchup is low sodium.

6 | You once did a class with “jam” in the title.

7 | You own resistance bands.

8 | You use resistance bands.

9 | You haven’t decided which neoprene iPod arm strap is most reliable.

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10 | You disagreed with your last gait analysis.

11 | You don’t like raw fish, but it’s a great source of selenium.

12 | You’ve said the word “buff” out loud on more than one occasion.

13 | You think BMI is an overly simplistic and ultimately misleading tool that makes no allowance for lean muscle mass percentages or body shape.

14 | You have a favourite running machine. The one with an unobstructed view of the receptionist and the mirror.

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15 | You know this really great acupuncturist.

16 | You once tried a juice diet and put on three pounds.

17 | You hold an opinion on the efficacy of the Power Plate.

18 | You’re familiar with the plotlines in Diagnosis Murder.

19 | You secretly hate your spin instructor.

20 | In your Facebook profile picture you’re not wearing a shirt.

21 | You have the Euro dance cover of 'Boys Of Summer' as your ringtone.

22 | You wear shower socks.

23 | You tried pilates but later reflected: “Did it really challenge me enough?”

24 | You have sub-goals.

25 | You’re on nodding terms with the gym maintenance team.

26 | You could point to your sartorius muscle.

27 | You think Patrick Bateman is misunderstood.

28 | You’ve written out a fitness program for your girlfriend. And she’s not taking it seriously enough.

29 | On your first triathlon entry form, you selected “intermediate”.

30 | You’re the moderator on an interval-training forum.

31 | You moved your wedding date because it didn’t fall on a designated rest day.

32 | You use the Nutrition section of Men’s Health for dinner party inspiration.

33 | You think that personal-trainer envy should be a recognised condition.

34 | You’re reading this in the 90-second gap between pyramid sets.

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