Top five outlandish music press release claims

We're lucky enough to read a lot of press releases. And in our experience, it's the press releases that accompany new CDs which can provide the most nominations for Private Eye's Pseud's Corner. Check these out:

1 'Smoke the Monster Out' Damian Lazarus (Get Physical)

'On 'Bloop Bleep' Lazarus indulges his love of experimental pop with an insanely catchy tune that renders a Bacharach-like melody in playful muzique concrete-stye abstraction.'

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2 'Better Off As Two' Frankmuzik (Island)

'Every performance of the song is an emotional high-wire walk and every press interview a chance to exorcise a bit - giving him the unsmiling, deep thinking, slightly scary, faintly tongue in cheek look of a love child of Rimbaud and Verlaine if they'd been fans of the John Foxx of Ultravox.'

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3 'Final Song 1' Various Artists (Get Physical)

'Of all the arts, music offers the most immediate access to the sublime: its Dionysian impulses take us to the brink and dangle us there. (Why else do you think drugs and music are so often intertwined? Everyone's looking for a platform to take them a few inches further over the abyss).'

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4 'Songs About Dancing and Drugs' Circlesquare (!K7)

'What sound at first like stray images and passing paranoia come together to create the picture of an unstable world torn by a time-space faultline."

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5 'Down to Margate' Chas and Dave (EMI)

'These two leviathans of sonic experimentation build, brick by tenderly crafted brick, a soaring cathedral that is both monument and crypt to their staggering genius.' *

chasdave

* This last one might be made up.