Top five songs about internet phenomena

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We can't help but give a shudder whenever musicians stick trendy-tecchy references into their song lyrics to appease "the yoof", but judge for yourself. Here are five perpetrators, in descending order of cringe-worthiness.

1 "Go Then Bye" by Speech Debelle

SAMPLE LYRIC: "We're not friends on Facebook / Still I want to know that we're cool / And what the status says you've been up to"

She sounds like that prepubescent boy who throws chips at you at a bus stop, but this 25-year-old south Londoner is still one to watch.  

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2 "Cut You Up With A Linoleum Knife" by Mastodon

SAMPLE LYRIC: "This is a copyrighted movie for Time Warner / If I find you sold it on eBay / I will break into your house and tear your wife in half"

The new wave heavy metallers adopt the form of pretzels to let us know just where we stand in the great piracy debate.

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3 "You're No One If You're Not On Twitter" by Ben Walker

SAMPLE LYRIC: "If you haven't been bookmarked, retweeted and blogged / You might as well not have existed"

OK, he's in on the joke which makes it a little less fun, but full marks for the Divine Comedy-esque baritone.

 

4 "My President Is Black" by Young Jeezy

SAMPLE LYRIC: "My nephew and nieces / I will email Jesus / Tell him to forward to Moses / And cc: Allah"

We're not sure when Jesus became Moses's PA, but as long as Allah's still in the loop we're cool with it.

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5 "Candle In A Chatroom" by Andrea McEwan

SAMPLE LYRIC - "You can't light a candle in a chatroom / Love without romance is just a black room"

Katie Melua's occasional co-conspirator writes an anthem that, for us, conjures up only gun-toting school boys and frustrated paedos.