For those about to rock... Make sure you've copyrighted your bandname. All Known Metal Bands is the latest upmarket toilet-side read from McSweeney's and is essentially a Doomsday Book of every metal band there's ever been, give or take a few efforts that never made it out of their parents' garages.

As you might expect, the names swing from ingeniously creative to downright dumbass: there are the classically hell-bound (Legion Of The Dying, Empyrean Plague), the tediously controversial (Murder Rape, Anus de Satanus) and of course the totally random (Blood Gnome, Stöner Kebab). And before you ask - yes, Murdergoat is already taken. 

All Known Metal Bands by Dan Nelson (McSweeney's/Atlantic Books) is out on 3 September.