Mission accomplished, folks. The Academy (sort of) just recognised a dog for an award—and I’m claiming sole responsibility for getting the notoriously stubborn voters to finally make a change. Posting the honour to X last month, The Academy announced, “The Oscar for bestest boi goes to Messi from Anatomy of a Fall," alongside four adorable images of our award-winning pooch. The honour arrived just under a year since I awarded Jenny the Donkey from Banshees of Inisherin Esquire's first annual Best Animal Actor award. I'm humbled that The Academy stole my idea and made it real. I’m not asking for credit, because I’ve already won.
I’d like to thank my parents, my editor, my fans, all the wonderful people who helped me get to this moment, and of course, each and every animal actor. If it wasn’t for the amazing work they do on the silver screen, none of us would be here today. Air Bud, Beethoven, Free Willy, Lassie, Toto, Flipper, Jenny—this one goes out to all the heroes who paved the way. As I take my victory lap, I leave you with the nominees—and winner!—of Esquire's second-annual Animal Oscars.
Honourable Mention: Bees (The Beekeeper)
The Beekeeper debuted this year, so it's technically up for the next Animal Oscars cycle, but I must make an exception this year. Why, you ask? Bees only live for around 18 to 34 days, according to a study from New Scientist, so I must recognise them while they’re still alive. Plus, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity after I read in EW that Jason Statham interacted with the bees and wasn't even stung once. Such a terrifying feat would be up for the much-needed Best Stunt Oscar, but alas!
Honourable Mention #2: Nabo the Giraffe (The Last of Us)
Sure, The Last of Us is outside the realm of the Oscars—but I would bet that not one of you thought the giraffe was real. It’s a tough sell to audiences, because the background of this scene is likely all VFX. Still, Nabo, the 13-year-old Masai giraffe from the Calgary Zoo, was 100 percent real. “You can create a giraffe in visual effects, but it’s just not the same,” location manager Matt Palmer said in HBO’s Making of The Last of Us documentary. Music to my ears. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Wonka!
Now, onto our real nominees.
5. Gonker the Labrador (Dog Gone)
Dog Gone, an early 2023 Netflix release, features Rob Lowe acting alongside a Labrador for much of the film’s runtime. Dog Gone is based on the true story of a dog who walked over 111 miles to find his way home after he is lost during a hike on the Appalachian Trail. What a pup! “The dog is so great,” Lowe told Collider about his canine costar. “He's a great actor. He's the Daniel Day-Lewis of dog actors.”
4. Watson the Poodle (Mr. Monk’s Last Case: A Monk Movie)
This one’s for all my fellow Monk heads out there. Monk’s Last Case already checked each and every box by bringing all our favourite characters from the detective drama back for a reunion. There were jokes about how, after the pandemic, we’re all like Monk now! But that’s enough about the human actors. Let’s get to the dog! Monk’s Last Case introduced us to Watson, a poodle up for adoption—and he shares many of Monk’s unique oddities. A dog? Asked to do an impression of Monk?! That’s talent.
3. Nemo and Tango as "Goose," the Orange Tabby Cat (The Marvels)
Though The Marvels features at least a dozen kittens, Nemo and Tango are arguably the film’s dual stars as Goose the Cat. If you ever see a guy sitting alone in a movie theater, chances are it’s me±because I need to make sure that Captain Marvel’s cat isn’t a CGI creation, so I can feature him in my annual Animal Oscars. If you're also happy to learn that Goose came to life thanks to two real-life cattos, I’m happy to report that we both found one thing to like about The Marvels.
2) Eli, the Eurasian Eagle-Owl (Killers of the Flower Moon)
An owl actor? Awesome. Last year, two donkeys helped to break up the sheer number of dogs that populate modern cinema, but we got an owl this year! It’s yet another thing to thank Martin Scorsese for in such a beautiful, gut-wrenching film like Killers of the Flower Moon. Eli appears in several dream sequences as an omen, flying into a house from an open window. Eli reportedly beat out five other owls for the part, which was her first-ever movie role. She was also just under a year old when filming. Leonardo DiCaprio even took a break one day on set just to watch her scenes.
1) Messi as "Snoop," the Border Collie (Anatomy on a Fall)
It should come as little surprise that this year's Best Animal Actor is Messi from Anatomy of a Fall. Messi was at the centre of a rare hat trick for The Academy. 1) They commended a good boy's efforts, for once, 2) The award is basically real now, and 3) I agree with their pick! Hot dog! Messi was indeed fantastic as “Snoop” in Anatomy of a Fall. The doggo not only appeared throughout the entire film, but Messi was also a major part of the film's third act. Three cheers for Messi—and maybe even four cheers. Give him a big ol’ treat and a belly rub. He deserves it.
Josh Rosenberg is an Assistant Editor at Esquire, keeping a steady diet of one movie a day. His past work can be found at Spin, CBR, and on his personal blog at Roseandblog.com.
