Picture this: a football coach with personal issues is sent overseas to manage a poorly-performing team, comprising loveable rogues. He encounters professional set backs and culture differences but eventually teaches them to work as a team (though they teach him far more about himself!). In a jiffy, he pulls off an adorable underdog story. Who were you imagining? A moustachioed, gilet-clad Jason Sudeikis hovering around Richmond Green? Like a VAR official on any given weekend, you would be wrong.
We are instead in American Samoa for Next Goal Wins, a comedy-true-story-sports film directed by Taika Waititi and out in cinemas today. American Samoa is the southernmost territory of the United States, home to a very bad football team. In fact, the national side suffered the worst defeat in World Cup history: 31-0 against Australia in 2001 (a match so disastrous it led to FIFA reforms to how preliminary matches are carried out). Years later, do they have what it takes to qualify for the World Cup? Their hope lies in an American coach, Thomas Rongen (played in the film by Michael Fassbender), who hopes to whip the rag-tag team into shape, while also battling his own demons. If you have seen Cool Runnings or The Mighty Ducks or have even the slightest grasp of basic narratives, you will know what to expect. The story is good, and you’d have to be made of stone not to be moved, but you may prefer first checking out the 2014 documentary of the same name, directed by Mike Brett and Steve Jamison, which is a football documentary for people who are not into football (people who are into football will also enjoy it, as they will watch anything to do with football).
Is Waititi’s take any good? Depends on your metrics. It is a film so forcefully generic that any approach other than submission is stupid. There is an obligatory sad family storyline for Rongen (his ex-wife is played by Elizabeth Moss). There are jokes, in quite a broad sense: they are designed to be funny, but only a couple will make you laugh. The final stretch is very efficient at jerking tears, and may make you wonder why the film was not written as a straight drama. Fassbender is not phoning it in, the supporting cast are enthusiastic, and the scenery is lush: it had the makings of a classic. The type of film your geography teacher (who was also a sports coach) puts on at the end of term when everyone has given up.
The only storyline that threatens to destabilise a smooth narrative is team member Jaiyah Saelua (played by non-binary actor Kaimana), who is fa’afafine, a third gender recognised in Samoan society. A few critics have spoken out against the film’s treatment of this storyline, describing Waititi’s approach as “flippant” and a “ruinous miscalculation”. In one scene, which has come under criticism, Fassbender’s character has a conversation with Jaiyah about their body and the legalities of their participation in the football tournament – some may find this exploitative, and they are within their rights to, but I found the character’s clunkiness lifelike and intentions clear.
It doesn’t take up too much time. The overriding scent is Eau de Lasso. All schmaltz, a flash of sadness, then happy tears. One proposed cause for the collective embrace of Ted Lasso was because it offered light relief during the pandemic. When things are burning, would you not prefer to watch people being kind and sweet and soppy? The enjoyment of Next Goal Wins will stem from the exact same impulse. And while we are no longer in the midst of a pandemic, the world is not exactly daisy chains and rainbows, which is to this film’s advantage. Or maybe, people just like nice things – why shouldn’t they? – and Waititi has been waiting on the sidelines, ready to tap in. Lasso lives!
‘Next Goal Wins’ is in cinemas 17 November in the US and 26 December in the UK and Ireland
Henry Wong is a senior culture writer at Esquire, working across digital and print. He covers film, television, books, and art for the magazine, and also writes profiles.
