Superman comes in many shapes. Well, one shape, many haircuts. Well, one haircut. But many faces. And it's never a bad time to reassess the various outings the iconic red pants have had over the years. Whose Superman was the most super?
We've ordered them from worst to best, and you should probably brace yourselves for a few surprises along the way. So, whip off your glasses, run to your nearest phone box, twirl around a bit, and then maybe put your glasses back on because you might need them if you want to read the following.
8. Superman Returns (2006)
Okay, so before you grab your Kryptonite pitchforks/aim your heat vision in our general direction because we've ranked Bryan Singer's Christ allegory below Christopher Reeve's attempt to secure world peace (which everyone else agrees was the nadir for the franchise), hear us out.
Quest For Peace might be terrible and nonsensical, but it was actually also pretty honourable. There's something sort-of Superman-esque about Christopher Reeve's decision to use the iconic hero to spread a sincere message of peace – he co-wrote the anti-nuclear, arms-race exploring script in a genuine attempt to educate his audience.
Unfortunately, all he managed to do was confuse kids about whether it's possible for ordinary people to breath in space for an extended period of time, but we'll get to that in a moment.
This is supposed to be about Superman Returns, and if you can feel us putting off discussing it, that's because Superman's meant to be an icon of positivity, and Superman Returns brings out our inner Lex Luthor.
It's just awful. It so fundamentally misses the point of the character it feels more like a prequel to My Super Ex-Girlfriend, or a Hancock spinoff. Superman would not abandon humanity for a gap year. He wouldn't then come back from his hols and decide to spend his free time hovering outside his previous partner's house, using his x-ray stalkervision for extra creepy ex-boyfriend vibes.
Then there's Clark's illegitimate kid, which is the weirdest and most unnecessary subplot this side of Tommy Wiseau's relationship with the flower-shop dog in The Room. Let's leave aside the sexualisation of Superman (he's never sired a son in the comics, presumably because no-one could bring themselves to draw that), and focus on the fact that it adds absolutely nothing to the main narrative aside from the bit where Superman's son chucks a piano. Which admittedly is pretty awesome.
But piano-throwing and a decent performance from Kevin Spacey as Lex isn't enough to save this interminably long, impossibly boring, and painfully unfunny film.
Superman Returns is easily the worst instalment in the franchise. We've now watched it three times, and we'd rather put Batman & Robin on than suffer through it again.
7. Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (1987)
So, on to Quest For Peace. We defended it above, now we're going to turn on it like the fickle friends we are. Because, let's be fair, it's pretty ridiculous.
We've already alluded to the moment Nuclear Man takes Lacy into space dressed in nothing but a '80s power suit, and she appears to instantly evolve the ability to breathe without oxygen (for ages!) but, quite frankly, the film's so filled with silly moments, it'd take us the lifespan of Doomsday (centuries, basically) to outline them all.
It had a fairly tortured journey to multiplexes – it was the first and last Superman movie to be produced by cinematic cheese-factory Cannon Films, who ran out of money during production – and it would have taken a miracle for The Quest For Peace to live up to the originals.
Christopher Reeve struggled with the budget cuts, finding it tough to transition from scenes shot in New York featuring hundreds of extras in the early instalments, to filming, as he put it, "at an industrial park in England in the rain with a dozen pigeons thrown in for atmosphere".
So, a failure but, as we mentioned above, ultimately a noble one. Reeve's superheroic dreams for the project might have been hampered by the film's clumsy delivery, but the intention to promote peace still reflects the man's inherent goodness.
6. Superman III (1983)
Much-maligned on release, Superman III is far more fun than you remember.
After all, any film that contains an evil Superman, and one of the greatest fights in the franchise (that scrapyard scrap takes some beating) can't be all bad.
Christopher Reeve is magnificent in this film. His evil Superman is so distinct from his previous performance, it's almost as though he's being played by a different actor. His slow transformation from grinning good-guy to grimacing groupie-fiend is surprisingly subtle, rather than a sudden switch.
With the make-up, hair and costume departments also on point and in tune with Reeve's performance (Supes' look gradually gets more grungey to match our hero's descent), this is arguably the best hero-goes-bad turn in cinema history.
Just watch Spider-Man 3 to see how hard the feat is to pull off.
Oh, and Richard Pryor apparently got paid $4 million for this film, a million more than the star. Which, in our opinion, is absolutely brilliant.
5. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Should Zack Snyder's dark, dark mash-up be this high up the list? It's a divisive film in a divisive franchise reboot, but we enjoyed parts of it. You might argue that Batman's Super-smashing metal outfit is daft, but is it as daft as the robot spawned by a computer in Superman III?
Plus, you've got the arrival of Wonder Woman ("I thought she was with you") to lighten up all the testosterone-heavy grunting and frowning.
As seems to be the perpetual problem for superhero movies, the villain is disappointing – Jesse Eisenberg's Lex Luthor-as-Mark Zuckerberg is the weakest screen Luthor yet – but the climactic battle between Supes, Bats, Wonds and Doomsday, the genetic spawn of Zod and Luthor, is exciting stuff. And while you might fault Zack Snyder for his narrative consistency or his take on the characters, you can't deny he's got visual style.
4. Justice League (2017)
So much depended on the DCEU's first proper team up. And it was… pfff. It's not as good as Man of Steel, but it was better than Dawn of Justice. Which is something.
Given that Superman's actually dead for much of the film, it's more of a Batman film than a Superman film anyway.
3. Man of Steel (2013)
Yep, we went there. Arguably the most divisive superhero movie ever made, Man of Steel is experimental, creative and brave.
From the thrilling opening – the greatest cinematic representation of Krypton ever filmed – to the goosebump-inducing final scene ("Welcome to the planet" indeed) Man of Steel gets so much right.
Unfortunately for its placement on this list, it also gets a couple of key things wrong. We're not talking about the controversy surrounding the fact our hero – spoiler alert – kills Zod at the end; he does that in the comics and in Superman II, so we're totally fine with that.
It's the fact that, maybe, possibly, Superman and Zod do potentially throw themselves through one too many buildings in a bombastic finale. Though, actually, we like the fact that Superman – who's still only just become a superhero, remember – struggles to defeat his enemy.
As an origin story, every element, from the narrative time-jumps to the emotional backstory, is full of surprises. Considering the fact this is a tale every audience member knew intimately before they bought a ticket, that's actually pretty impressive.
And if the original Superman made you believe a man could fly, Man of Steel's astonishing early sky-bound sequences make you feel like you're flying right along next to him. If only it could have captured some of the innocent joy of the greatest Reeve moments, in place of the leaden-skied, beetle-browed Zack Snyder aesthetic that ultimately depresses more than it exhilarates.
2. Superman (1978)
Freelancer writer
Sam is an entertainment writer with NCTJ accreditation and a twenty-year career as a film journalist.
Starting out as a staff writer at Total Film, moving up to Deputy Online Editor, Sam was responsible for Total Film’s YouTube channel, where he revolutionised the magazine’s approach to video junkets, creating influential formats that spread to other outlets.
He’s interviewed a wide range of film icons, including directors such as David Lynch, Quentin Tarantino, Paul Thomas Anderson, Sofia Coppola, Ridley Scott, Michael Bay and Sam Raimi, as well as actors such as Meryl Streep, Nic Cage, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Anne Hathaway, Margot Robbie, Natalie Portman, Kermit the Frog, all of the Avengers and many more.
Sam has also interviewed several comic creators, including Stan Lee, Alan Moore, Grant Morrison, and he has a zombie cameo in The Walking Dead comic.
In 2014, Sam went freelance, working directly for film studios including Warner Brothers, 20th Century Fox and Disney, as well as covering red carpet events for film marketing company PMA Productions.
Sam is the co-host, producer and editor of the Arrow Video podcast, which has seen year-on-year growth since its creation in 2017, gaining over half a million listens in that time.
His byline has appeared in outlets such as Yahoo, MTV, Dazed, Esquire, Harper’s Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, Elle, and Good Housekeeping among others.
In 2012, Sam made it to the final of the Leicester Square Theatre New Comedian of the Year competition, and went on to become a filmmaker himself, directing three features that have all played major festivals, and secured distribution – starring in two of them.
Jim Carrey once mistook Sam for Johnny Cash, and John Carpenter told him to ‘Keep up the good work.’ He promises to try his best.
