Do you ever lie awake at night wondering how you’d actually fare in a post-apocalyptic world? Could you tackle any zombie-based eventuality, leading a group of survivors across the country to potential safety, like Jim in 28 Days Later, or would you just head to your local for an end of days lock-in, Shaun of the Dead-style?
It’s something that Bill (Nick Offerman) in the third episode of The Last Of Us has clearly given a lot of thought to. A self-styled survivalist – they hate the term 'preppers' – he is all set for a life alone; that is until another man, Frank, is trapped beyond the barbed-wire of his abode. He lets him into his house, his life and his heart.
But before Bill gets the human contact he didn’t realise he’d been missing all along, he was successfully keeping the global plague of cordyceps at bay. Here’s how Bill managed to live a charming life, and maybe just a few ideas to jot down.
Escape the mandatory expulsion
While FEDRA clears out everybody in Bill’s town (and massacre them afterward, it seems) he’s hunkered down in a bunker with CCTV cameras set up all around his house to check for intruders. “Not today, you New World Order jack boot fucks,” he cackles, surrounded by enough guns, ammo, and books on guns and ammo to sustain several battalions.
Get out on the rob
With nobody around him, or ever coming back, it’s practically a victimless crime to take what you can get. Bill’s straight out there with his truck: filling up tanks of oil, loading up on DIY and household goods, even hitting up a gas plant for extra supplies of energy. A monster generator also means his house is off-grid, but fully connected to power.
Live off the fat of the land
A true survivalist will make use of the land and nature all around, so Bill is seen getting handy with a chainsaw and axe to hack down trees for wood, and also his green fingers manage to grow some tasty looking veg. Meanwhile, all that training with guns means he can hunt down his dinner, and his butchery cuts are worthy of a job at top restaurant – as is his cooking…
Real men cook dinner
No roast-chicken-in-a-can here: it’s gourmet all the way. Thanks to his expert skills in the kitchen, meals are a big deal chez Bill, and why not? If ever there’s a time to teach yourself how to make cordon bleu, this is it. If only there was someone to share it with…
Install an excellent security system
Proper home security matters. As well as the aforementioned trip-wire (which neatly fries a fungus-headed zombie into oblivion), his booby-trap hole manages to ensnare Frank, who turns out to be his soulmate. It’s always nice to give fate a helping hand.
Finally, don’t forget the booze
What’s life worth living for in a plagued world, if not to enjoy the finest wines known to man? And Bill is a man who knows to pair rabbit with Beaujolais. If this is the New World Order, where do we sign up?
The Last Of Us continues weekly on Sky Atlantic and NOW TV.
