By There are rumours going round that the release of No Time To Die, the 25th James Bond film, will be bumped back again.
Originally slated for April, it's now on for 12 November, but The Sun reckons it'll be postponed again because of spiking coronavirus cases across the United States. This is hot from the lips of "an LA source," mind you, so until we hear otherwise from the Bond powers that be, it might as well have come hot from the lips of a spokesperson for Reggae Reggae Sauce.
If we have a closer look at The Sun's piece though – hang on, let me just pop my lead-lined apron and marigolds on – the specific reason that this source gives for the imposition of another delay is quite magnificently shady.
"One problem is cases of the virus climbing in the US, as many fans of Bond, played by Daniel Craig, are over 40 and so more vulnerable," it says.
This blistering ice burn on the Bond Dad demographic is, you have to say, beautifully deployed. Millions of middle-aged men around the world could be denied their fix of watching an indestructible middle-aged man explode his way around the world by such a gently patronising reminder of their fragility.
The coronavirus couldn't have picked a more opportune time to mount a cinema-borne assault on Dads either. The last few years have seen a boom in Dad-centric tentpole features.
Thank heavens it didn't strike during the IMAX run of Christopher Nolan's Dunkirk. The density of Dads in one place, multiplied by the stiff-upper-lip message, could have spelled disaster. Fortunately the only long-term effect was that every so often you'd catch your Dad staring to space, tearing up a bit while mumbling about "the little boats".
As it was, the Dads escaped possibly the most dangerous vector of coronavirus disease transmission by the skin of their teeth. Ford Vs Ferrari (AKA Le Mans '66, AKA The Grand Tour) was precision-tooled for Dad approval: fast cars; wibbly-woo mythologising of fast cars; Christian Bale driving fast cars; Matt Damon in a Stetson; and a small boy who really, really loves his dad, Christian Bale, who drives fast cars.
Instead, the Dads are just being gently patted on the arm and reminded that they're on a one-way trip to the knacker's yard. It could be worse.
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