So: no singles, no interviews, no pomp, no circumstance. But still: Arctic Monkeys' new album is here. Between some staggeringly ugly song titles, the fact it's a concept album from the point of view of a crooner stuck on a slightly seedy moon colony resort and Alex Turner's beard, the early signs were that Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino could be an exercise in Olympic-standard self-indulgence.

And so it (largely) proves. The band have dived into 'difficult album' territory before with 2009's Humbug, but even by those standards, Tranquility pretty much throws everything Arctic Monkeys-ish out of the window.

For one thing, it sounds more like 'Alex Turner (and associates)' than Arctic Monkeys - more reminiscent of the front man's solo work than the music that briefly but oh-so-brightly reinvigorated the British rock scene in the mid-oo's. There are great songs on here - 'The Ultracheese' is a full-on Vegas Elvis cabaret showstopper - but most waft airily by without landing a hook.

So: not the horrifying mess some had feared, but no classic either. Perhaps the best way to understand Tranquility is by using Turner's new magician beard as a metaphor: it's hard to say how sincere it is, but it's also hard to pretend it's very good.

What has remained mercifully intact is Turner's gift for turning a memorable phrase. Here's a rundown of the best (and least explicable lines) from TraBaHoCa.

“I want to make a simple point about peace and love but in a sexy way where it’s not obvious"

- Science Fiction

"Dancing in my underpants, I’m gonna run for government, I’m gonna form a covers band an' all"

- One Point Perspective

"Wayne Manor, what a memorable NYE. Good morning. Cheeseburger. Snowboarding"

- She Looks Like Fun

"Pull me in close on a crisp eve baby, kiss me underneath the moon’s side boob"

- Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino

"Last night when my psyche’s subcommittee sang to me in its scary voice"

- Golden Trunks

"The leader of the free world reminds you of a wrestler wearing tight golden trunks"

- Golden Trunks

"The exotic sound of data storage, nothing like it first thing in the morning"

- The World's First Ever Monster Truck Front Flip

"Do you celebrate your dark side then wish you’d never left the house? Have you ever spent a generation trying to figure that one out?"

- Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino

"I lost the money, lost the keys but I’m still handcuffed to the briefcase"

- American Sports

"I launch my fragrance called ‘Integrity’, I sell the fact that I can’t be bought"

- Batphone

"There’s no limit to the length of the dickheads we can be. Bukowski. Dogsitting. Screwballing"

- She Looks Like Fun