So: no singles, no interviews, no pomp, no circumstance. But still: Arctic Monkeys' new album is here. Between some staggeringly ugly song titles, the fact it's a concept album from the point of view of a crooner stuck on a slightly seedy moon colony resort and Alex Turner's beard, the early signs were that Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino could be an exercise in Olympic-standard self-indulgence.
And so it (largely) proves. The band have dived into 'difficult album' territory before with 2009's Humbug, but even by those standards, Tranquility pretty much throws everything Arctic Monkeys-ish out of the window.
For one thing, it sounds more like 'Alex Turner (and associates)' than Arctic Monkeys - more reminiscent of the front man's solo work than the music that briefly but oh-so-brightly reinvigorated the British rock scene in the mid-oo's. There are great songs on here - 'The Ultracheese' is a full-on Vegas Elvis cabaret showstopper - but most waft airily by without landing a hook.
So: not the horrifying mess some had feared, but no classic either. Perhaps the best way to understand Tranquility is by using Turner's new magician beard as a metaphor: it's hard to say how sincere it is, but it's also hard to pretend it's very good.
What has remained mercifully intact is Turner's gift for turning a memorable phrase. Here's a rundown of the best (and least explicable lines) from TraBaHoCa.
“I want to make a simple point about peace and love but in a sexy way where it’s not obvious"
- Science Fiction
"Dancing in my underpants, I’m gonna run for government, I’m gonna form a covers band an' all"
- One Point Perspective
"Wayne Manor, what a memorable NYE. Good morning. Cheeseburger. Snowboarding"
- She Looks Like Fun
"Pull me in close on a crisp eve baby, kiss me underneath the moon’s side boob"
- Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino
"Last night when my psyche’s subcommittee sang to me in its scary voice"
- Golden Trunks
"The leader of the free world reminds you of a wrestler wearing tight golden trunks"
- Golden Trunks
"The exotic sound of data storage, nothing like it first thing in the morning"
- The World's First Ever Monster Truck Front Flip
"Do you celebrate your dark side then wish you’d never left the house? Have you ever spent a generation trying to figure that one out?"
- Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino
"I lost the money, lost the keys but I’m still handcuffed to the briefcase"
- American Sports
"I launch my fragrance called ‘Integrity’, I sell the fact that I can’t be bought"
- Batphone
"There’s no limit to the length of the dickheads we can be. Bukowski. Dogsitting. Screwballing"
- She Looks Like Fun