It always seemed that there would come a time when Cristiano Ronaldo would be no more than a heavily varnished wardrobe standing on the Bernabeu's penalty spot; just a solid mass of muscle and sinew unable to move.

However, reports that his €1 billion release clause has been substantially dropped suggest he might be off to see out his career away from Madrid.

According to OKDiario, it's now only £120 million, meaning he's available to actual football clubs rather than just Bilderberg Group invitees, and there are reportedly four offers for Ronaldo to have a flip through when he's done haring around Russia.

Manchester City, Arsenal, Chelsea and AC Milan are in for him, though given that AC Milan have just been booted out of the Europa League for not following Financial Fair Play rules, that looks like a bit of a punt.

In a deliciously petty twist, the £120 million price tag isn't applicable to any Spanish teams or to Paris St Germain. Completely unnecessary snubs and wind-ups should be more present in contract law.