Maya Angelou once said, "If someone shows you who they are, believe them." So when an Oregon-based novelist, writing instructor, and make-your-own-website connoisseur published an essay titled "How to Murder Your Husband," it makes you wonder why no one asked, is this woman going to murder her husband?
Turns out it might have been a question worth asking. According to The Oregonian,Nancy Crampton Brophy was charged on September 5 with the murder of her husband of 27 years. The murder, which happened three months prior, initially seemed to have no clear motive or suspects. Brophy posted a message on Facebook the day after the murder to let friends and family know that her husband Dan had died.
But here's the thing—even if he is your best friend, Nancy, you have to put this into context. You can't be shocked if people eventually come to the conclusion that you might have killed your husband when you do a full-on explanation of why you shouldn't hire a hitman (they'll rat you out!) or use poison ("who wants to hang out with a sick husband?") before listing several potential weapons and means of killing him. Nancy! Even the Gone Girl kept her notes in a private journal!
The author of suspense romance classics like The Wrong Cop, The Wrong Seal, and The Wrong Husband (!!!) is set to appear in court on charges on 17 September, but authorities have remained quiet on what a potential motive could be. Then again, you could also just check out the essay (the original version has been taken down, but archived versions can be found online) for little snippets like, "Divorce is expensive, and do you really want to split your possessions?"
For now, Brophy is only charged, not indicted. Authorities said in a statement that based “on information learned during the investigation, detectives believe Nancy L. Crampton Brophy is the suspect in Daniel C. Brophy’s murder.” In response to the previous essay, Brophy wrote, "I find it is easier to wish people dead than to actually kill them. I don't want to worry about blood and brains splattered on my walls. And really, I'm not good at remembering lies."
I see you, Nance.
Justin Kirkland is a Brooklyn-based writer who covers culture, food, and the South. Along with Esquire, his work has appeared in NYLON, Vulture, and USA Today.
