Cristiano Ronaldo is not an immediately likeable man. There's the preening, the fact that he's set up a museum to himself, the intimidating baked gammon thighs, and now Patrice Evra's revealed that he's also a dreadful lunch host.

Speaking on ITV Sport's World Cup podcast, Evra said that his former Manchester United teammate is "a monster". Not in the sense that he's secretly building gulags, but in the sense that he never stops training, even when he's meant to be making a valued colleague food.

'He said, "Patrice, come over after training." I went, you know I was really tired, [and] at the table there was only salad and plain white chicken so I was like, okay, and water, not any juice and we started eating and I was thinking some big meat would be coming after that but there was nothing."

Not even a Pepperami for the road. Gutted.

"He just finished and he stood up and he started playing with a ball, doing some skills and he said, 'Let's do some two-touch.' I was like, can I just finish eating?"

'"No, no let's play two-touch," we start playing two touch. After that he said let's go to the pool to swim, I was like okay… after going in the jacuzzi, the sauna, I'm done.

"I say, 'Cristiano why have we come here, have we come here because we have a game tomorrow, or just for lunch?'"

Evra also said that when Rio Ferdinand beat Ronaldo at table tennis, Ronaldo was so upset that he sent his cousin to buy a table tennis table and practiced for two weeks solid before playing Ferdinand again and beating him. Those are not the actions of a man with his ego in perfect equilibrium.