Today! In news you never wanted. Mark Wahlberg, during his appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres show, started talking to the titular Ellen about his prosthetic penis from Boogie Nights. It started when Degeneres asked Wahlberg whether or not the rumours were true. Does he, Mark, still keep it around the house?
First of all, if you haven't thought about Boogie Nights since its 1997 debut, the film starred Wahlberg as Eddie Adams, a high school burnout who becomes a porn star. (Alias: Dirk Diggler.) Boogie Nights is regarded as one of director Paul Thomas Anderson's best films, as well as the first time we realised that Wahlberg (formerly an underwear model) had some serious acting skills. But the prosthetic, yes. DeGeneres and Wahlberg discussed what's arguably the most memorable cameo in Boogie Nights.
“Yes, yes. It’s in a safe locked away,” Wahlberg said. “It’s not something I could leave out. All of a sudden my kids are looking for a spare phone charger and pull that thing out and go, ‘What the heck is this?!’ It wouldn’t be a good look.”
Mark, no! Please get this dick out of your household, please. Call the CDC, or Animal Rescue, or something, and have a them take it away. We're worried about you, man. And we have a few more questions. If you're going to keep a prop from one of your movies, how about something that's you know, not a dick? Bring home a football from Invincible, for god's sake. And what's with the safe? Do you have the Boogie Nights penis right next to your birth certificate and your grandma's wedding ring? And why is this not the first time you've joked about this on TV?
While we wait for answers, a more wholesome note. Wahlberg actually talked about the film itself, and what it means to him, all these years later. “The expectations were so low when I started acting,” he added.. “You do something remotely interesting, ‘Oh my god, he’s fantastic!’ Next thing you know, they nominate me for an Oscar and I didn’t even do anything. But I definitely worked harder than everybody and I wanted to make sure that I could prove to filmmakers that I was capable of doing the best job for them and I would do anything for them.”
