If it turned out that Nicolas Cage wasn't actually a human man, but a sort of celestial being hatched from a giant green and gold egg and fired from outer space before serendipitously landing in the Utah desert, no one would really be that surprised, would they?
Sure, the Internet says Cage was born in Long Beach in 1964 to two human parents, but he could just as easily be an ancient alien walking among us, clumsily mimicking human behaviours and styles of dress.
Because how else do you explain this?
This is Nicolas Cage's interpretation of Airport Style: outfits that are typically selected based on darkness of fabric (all the better to hide the coffee and bacon sandwich stains) and how comfortable you are in them, without going full slob.
Except this is Nicolas Cage, 103,000,000 years old, descended from the black dust of space to teach us that, actually, nice-looking track pants that will hide the shame of a spilled flat white are OUT and glittery blue shearling leather jackets are most definitely IN.
There's also the small mystery of the Second Hat. Because, keen-eyed observer, why is Nicolas Cage holding a second wide-brimmed hat in his hand, when he is already wearing a wide-brimmed hat on his head? Is it an outside-only hat? Is it a wardrobe change hat? Is it for when he's finally alone in his hotel room, away from prying human eyes, and he can let his second head sprout from his right shoulder?
What's it for, Nicolas?
Alas, it would seem that we will never truly be able to unpack the celestial enigma of Nicolas Cage: man, myth and ageless shearling Sundance airport style god.
We can't even tell you where to get a jacket like that, because (for now) we only deal in clothes that are made on earth.
This guy knows the truth.
