By "Wondering whatever happened to Carlos, that cool guy you matched with last June?" reads the press release for Tinder's newly-rolled out Feed feature.
"A lot, according to new photos. He sailed the Greek islands. He won a half marathon. He finally perfected his chocolate soufflé. And based on his new Anthem, he seems to be loving 90s throwbacks. Maybe you have met your match?"
Yes, the Carlos you'd just managed to scrub off your Facebook after endless snaps of KOS '17 and fist-pumping emoji captioned shots of the Hackney Half is now all over your Tinder account too.
The dating app has announced it's rolling out the Feed feature, which was trialled in December for users in Australia, Canada and New Zealand. Feed "brings your matches to life by delivering a visual and interactive experience that helps you spark conversation with the people you want to meet most."
The Feed allows you to connect your Spotify account so others are updated with every time you try and quietly enjoy an Ed Sheeran track and updates matches whenever you change your picture.
"Let Zoe know the ‘Best. Burger. Ever.’ pic she just added to her profile is your favourite too," they say in the announcement which reads like a manifesto for putting your phone in a microwave and moving to the woods.
While it may promise more fodder for making excruciating small talk, in reality it's painfully clear that all the feature means is endless questions about your daily movements from people you've been trying to convince you have disappeared.
Users have reacted to the new feature by questioning whether Tinder have lost their f**king minds.
