Peter Crouch has played with a lot of players at a lot of clubs for a lot of years, so you can't really blame him for getting a bit flustered when we asked for his perfect 5-a-side team.
He ran through a list of the world-class stars he's shared a pitch with before settling on Pepe Reina, Ledley King, Gareth Bale, Steven Gerrard, Wayne Rooney and Xabi Alonso. "How many was that?"
Even host and Esquire editor-in-chief Alex Bilmes had lost count.
"Seven?"
Peter laughed. "We'd definitely win!”
The 37-year-old Stoke City striker's famous quick-wit and self-deprecation has endeared him to football fans across the country for nearly two decades. His 22 England goals and that robot celebration didn't hurt either. That's why we invited him to speak at Esquire Townhouse with Breitling to discuss his fascinating new autobiography, How To Be A Footballer, and share his stories of life at the top of the game.
He talked to the audience about what it's like to rise to the highest peak of British football, and how he navigated his way out of the mental lows that Premier League pressure can bring. He talked about taking stick for his height, and how Roy Keane kept his ego in check with a single disdainful glare.
Most importantly for those of us who have finally given up on our dreams of professional football, he talked about what you shouldn't ask him if you ever encounter him on the street. He even printed out business cards to save time. They read:
"Yes, I am six foot seven"
"No, I don't play basketball"
"The weather isn't different up here"
"I'm so glad we had this conversation"
Us too, Peter.
Peter Crouch was in conversation at Esquire Townhouse with Breitling. Check out the full event here.
How To Be A Footballer by Peter Crouch is out now
