It's easy to grow frustrated at the Academy Awards. Your favourite never wins. Maybe The Favourite won't win, either. It goes on for ages. And this year, they don't even have a host. It's not looking great, is it?
But even if the ceremony does prove to be an anticlimax, the past 12 months of cinema have been thrilling where it really matters: the style stakes. From 70s trouser revivals to Big Do grooming, the silver screen has been awash with inspiration for your wardrobe.
And so, in time-honoured Oscar parodying form, here are the big winners from this year.
The Award for Best Male Grooming goes to... The Favourite
The cast and crew of The Favourite deserve many accolades, but one unsung hero so far is the palace barber. From Joe Alwyn's luscious waterfall of powder-puffed splendour to Nicholas Hoult's poodle emoji in human form, it's all the inspiration you need to eschew the short back and sides for a power move do with all the subtlety of a young Liberace on bath salts.
The Award for Best Seventies Revival goes to... BlacKkKlansman
Spike Lee's blistering racial satire has many deep and important qualities. But beyond those, you have to admire the wonderful (if flammable) Soul Trained threads of John David Washington and Adam Driver. Fancy trying out some flares 2.0 yourself? Gucci and Tom Ford make some beautiful ones. Simply complete with an ankle-length jacket and the Shaft theme set to repeat on your iPhone.
The Award for Best Luxury Fragrance Ad goes to... Roma
Wistful glances into the scorching sunlight. Heartache. Mexican youths running through the streets with wild abandon. A crying woman. Heartache. Slow pans of quaint buildings. A wildfire. Heartache. Not actually a fragrance advert, but Alfonso Cuarón's landmark sobathon, Roma. This year's surprise Best Picture frontrunner is undoubtedly a masterpiece, but if you were to swap the soundtrack for a hi-synth Bat For Lashes cover of an eighties classic, you could easily mistake it for Roma, the new fragrance by Roma for Roma. Which is no bad thing in our eyes.
The Award for Best Workout Gear goes to... Black Panther
We're all for dressing with confidence, but lycra should only really be considered if you're in shape. Which is why the cast of Black Panther take the gong for best gym gear. They've worked for it. They've put in the hours. And they all look better than is humanly possible. Feel like you're up to scratch? Good for you! Get yourself an ab-rippling all-in-one and book yourself in for the Kendo Sticks 101 class at Equinox, stat.
The Ryan Gosling Lifetime Style Award goes to... Ryan Gosling
As a man that changed the course of cinematic (jacket) history forever in Drive, Ryan Gosling is no stranger to a sharp wardrobe department. So it makes perfect sense to award the inaugural Ryan Gosling Lifetime Style Award to the inimitable Ryan Gosling for his nuanced, moving and extremely well-dressed turn in First Man.
The stylish tribute to the sixties was a honey-lit parade of navy suits, Omega watches and fine, fine funnel neck shirts. It might have (wrongly, in our opinion) have been somewhat overlooked at the Oscars proper, but in the style stakes it really had lift off / was out of this world / took a giant leap forward.
