I have never seen a single episode of HBO's hit drama The Sopranos, but today marks the 20th anniversary of the show's premiere, and everyone who's not me is all jacked up about someone's baked ziti and that other scene where the guy does something at the fish counter. Oh, and of course, what happened at the end when the screen goes black? I was noticeably unexcited about the occasion.
Until someone brought up this dude Christopher Moltisanti.
I know nothing about the character. I don't know a damn thing about what he did wrong, what he did right, if Tony ever slapped him across his face, or if he ever found love, lust, luck, or a simple slice of gabagool throughout the show's 86 seasons. What I did know, after a quick Google Image search, was that Mr. Moltisanti (played by actor Michael Imperioli) was ahead of his time as a damn Sleaze Lord.
The Summer of Sleaze, not yet a year old, was a time when those of us who pay attention to style for a living began to notice our favourite celebrities dressing like parking-lot drug dealers—take Jonah Hill's game-ready Phoenix Suns fit, for example. From mismatched colours to ill-fitting silhouettes, and weather-inappropriate apparel, those we deemed Sleaze Lords gave us one simple message with their attire: I Don't Give a Fuck.
The first image that caught my eye was Christopher, standing in someone's living room. He's got a short-sleeved Nike fleece track on. He's got the exposed gold pendant necklace on. He's got the white tank top that we only call a white tank top now on. He's got a damn bucket hat on—fishing lures intact. If this isn't a look perfect for Justin Bieber's day out with Hailey or Pete Davidson's next paparazzi moment, I don't know what the hell else would be.
It's not the only vibe, either. The grid of Google goodness also produces leather jackets, burning cigarettes, steezy tank tops, sunglasses inside—and the confirmation I didn't need but am glad I have: The lookbook from KITH's Bergdorf Goodman collaboration starring, you guessed it, Michael Imperioli. Take, for instance, a photo of Christopher talking to Tony in a parking lot. Those of us inclined to care might wear a shirt that's significantly lighter or darker than that jacket. Not Mr. Moltisanti—he went with grey.
A little extra? He is! Check out the shades on this dude. I can't even categorise them. They look like something out of a bad '80s space movie. They suck pretty bad—and that makes them so damn good. The neck brace is a nice touch. Every fuccboi with an oversized hoodie is out here trying to get street styled in their sleaze. You can't miss the guy in a neck brace.
Like I said, I don't know anything about this character's character. But I'd like to think he talked a lot of shit. I'd like to think in 2019 the guy wore a hoodie outside in July or took his fare share of naps on sidewalk dumpster couches. I wanna believe this dude was a real Sleaze God, going about his business without a fuck to give or a hat to match.
All I have are these photos, though. And so until I become unemployed enough to commit to a Sopranos binge, I'll assume I'm right.
