In Praise Of... The Selfie

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Not a week goes by without another piece of research about how the internet is going to kill us, slowly and with various memes of pets gone wild.

Last week researchers at Birmingham Business School found that people who posted multiple pictures of themselves risked damaging their relationships with friends and family.

The theory goes that people fail to relate to the kind of person who constantly updates them on what their face looks like.

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In other words, you selfie your way through life, your nearest and dearest take you for a knob.

I get this, really I do. And then I go and flick through Rihanna’s seemingly endless ways to Instagram her derriere and well, every bit of knobbiness is forgiven.

It is here that the good people of selfies live. Theirs is a world in which the self is constantly pictured in various states of softcore porn.

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I can totally take on board what the Guardian writer means when she worries about selfies being a dangerous sign of Western narcissism. Totally, just as soon as I click through this week’s round up of hot celebrity selfies.

But it’s not all about sex. A selfie is also a great social leveler. It doesn't take Freud to work out that exposing yourself or you post gym body to the world wide web shows that you are as needy, self obsessed and/or drunk as the rest of us.

And sexy! Let’s not forget sexy.

Even if you take sexy out of it (please don't) there's a lot to recommend the self portrait.

Previously, much mirth ensued when friends would post 43 pictures of you sweating like a bastard and rolling around in your own urine of a Friday evening. Thanks guys.

The advent of selfies has meant you can sit at home in your kitchen perfecting your game face so that when you inevitably end up on the pub floor, at least your face looks like you’re managing the situation, if not your bladder.

I think that makes sitting through endless shots of other people’s porn faces worth it.

And anyway, porn faces: super sexy!

Ultimately, selfies make for a better-looking world, even if it is seen through an Instagram filter.

The internet doom mongers are the kind of people who would have us living without mirrors, scrambling around ponds like peasants in Game of Thrones, just to gel our hair.

I for one want to live in the sunny south of Westernos where mirrors are aplenty and everyone’s a little bit porno.

So keep snapping my friends, and keep me posted.