How To Impress Me: Arielle Vandenberg

The Vine sensation on perfect dates, Englishmen and getting chatted up in the supermarket

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LA-born Arielle Vandenberg is not like the others.

An actress who has starred in a crop of US television shows including Greek and How I Met Your Mother – as well as this Arctic Monkeys video – the 28-year-old has carved a second niche for herself as one of the most popular users of video-sharing app Vine, clocking up a dedicated following of well over a million people. Her clips range from the hilarious to the downright bizarre.

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Esquire spoke with Vandenberg to discuss terrible chat-up lines, charming Englishmen and why all males should dress like James Dean.

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Sitting by a fire and listening to Al Green on a date would be a dream come true. Or we could be adventurous and go bowling. If I went to a restaurant and the guy was sat on his phone and picking his nose, that would be terrible.


The number one thing a man shouldn’t wear is flip-flops with jeans. Number two is a thong. A wool cap doesn’t make sense either; you go to Venice beach and there are all these guys wearing beanies thinking they’re Johnny Depp

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A hairstyle depends on a guy’s personality. If you’re really handsome, shaved on the sides and long on the top is hot. If you’re crazy, you can have a fucking ponytail for all I care.


I always go for the funny types. Someone who makes me laugh in a way that nobody else can – that’s what I always look for. When it comes down to it, that’s what you really want.


Being awkward is way cuter than using a chat-up line. I was in the grocery store and this guy followed me around for 45 minutes before coming up to me and asking: “Do you think these apples are ripe?” That's all he had. Chat-up lines bring out the angry person in me.  


A little six-pack never hurt anybody. You don’t need to be able to bench a thousand pounds, but a little tone is nice. 


Guys need to stop waxing their eyebrows. I think that might be the one thing I can’t get past. Just let them go; eyebrows are nice.


For style inspiration, men should look to James Dean, 100%. White t-shirt and jeans, all day every day. I wouldn’t care if that was your uniform for the rest of your life, that is the nicest thing on a guy.

 

I’m an only child so I can't imagine not making a bigger family for myself at some point. If someone I truly cared for didn't want that, I’d be really sad.


If you don’t like animals, you’re not living. I understand not wanting a dog when you're living in an apartment but when you get a house, you've got to have a dog.


There’s a good amount of confidence, but don’t be a cocky weirdo. Jealousy – when it doesn’t need to be there – is a bad quality too, as is negativity. Oh, and bad breath.


I find Englishmen charming as fuck. There’s something there that just holds you.


If we're making eye contact and it seems inviting, come on over. I think there's a huge difference between inviting eyes and I-can't-handle-you eyes. You have to get the signals. 


I don't think men realise that the simplest things could brighten a day. If you literally just pick a flower from a neighbour’s house and bring it in, that will brighten a year. The simplicity in that is special.  


Communication is key. I had a boyfriend who was very emotional – which isn't a bad thing in the right places – but it pushed me away. When I told him that, it solved everything.


I like a man who loves life and is open to experience. You know, someone who's like "whatever happens, it's gonna be okay!" But strong back massaging hands help too.


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