5 Of The Funniest Quotes From A.A. Gill's Brand New 'Uncle Dysfunctional' Book

Hilarious highlights from the unrivaled writer's best Esquire columns

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For six years and 60 columns, A.A. Gill was Esquire's Uncle Dysfunctional, addressing the concerns of the magazine's readers, sometimes with a pat on the head, more often a wrap on the knuckles. Worried you're not dressing the part? Concerned your penis looks wonky? Unc had the medicine to cure you.

This new collection, edited and with a new introduction by Esquire editor-in-chief Alex Bilmes, features some of the late writer's most wincingly rude, bravely honest and surprisingly poignant columns, covering issues large and small with equal parts wit and profundity.

Here are five great quotes from the new book, which is out now to buy.

On regular sex:

"Sex isn't like PE. Everyone doesn't have to do it twice a week with a double period on Friday."

On dressing with style:

"How you wear is more important than what you wear. The worst dressed man in any room is the one who won't order spaghetti because he's got an Hermès tie on."

On being a man:

"Trying to learn to be a good man is like learning to play tennis against a wall. You are only a good man – a competent, capable, interesting and lovable man – when you're doing it for, or with, other people."

On aging well:

"At 30 you shouldn't eat and sleep in the same room. You should be in a relationship that shares more than bodily fluids. At 30, when people ask, you should be able to say what you are rather than what you hope to be. At 30, you should already know what your favourite novel is – and it shouldn't be Harry Potter."

On whether matching his and hers tattoos are acceptable

"Only if you're Danish bacon."

Uncle Dysfunctional: Uncompromising Answers To Life's Most Painful Problems, by AA Gill, is published 1 June by Canongate, priced £9.99. Buy it now at amazon.co.uk.