Tom Hiddleston Has Finally Addressed Rumours That His Taylor Swift Romance Is Fake

​In the least convincing way possible

The story so far: last month, all-conquering pop fringe Taylor Swift split from DJ boyfriend Calvin Harris. Soon after, she was spotted frolicking in the sea with Tom Hiddleston, who was wearing a Zante 2007-esque vest declaring his love for her. The universe cringed in unison.

A lot of people have been throwing accusations around. That it's all just a publicity stunt. That he's just trying to raise his already considerable profile. That she's just attempting to make Calvin Harris even more surly-looking and jealous.

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Well, Tom Hiddleston is here to quash those rumours – in the least convincing way possible.

Opening up to The Hollywood Reporter yesterday, Hiddleston said: 'Well, um. How best to put this? The truth is that Taylor Swift and I are together, and we're very happy. Thanks for asking.'

You can almost see the nervous sweat dripping off of those words, can't you? With his politely terrified, Hugh Grant-ish word wobble. 

But maybe we're just being too cynical. After all, he might just be worried about her muscle-bound ex, who's getting all angry over on Twitter. The greatest story of our times continues.