Clarkson Stuns Fans By Admitting He Will One Day Die And Nothing Really Matters

Jezza too busy reflecting on his own mortality to care whether you like his new show

Sallow-faced car botherer Jeremy Clarkson struck a rare note of mournful self-reflection today when he said it doesn't matter if his new show The Grand Tour is successful or not because he'll "be dead soon".

The jeans and sheux icon told Newsweek magazine: "The stakes are lower. I'm now 56, it doesn't really matter anymore.

"People could say, 'This is a terrible programme and Amazon's wasted its money,'" the professional bad opinion haver added, "and I'll go, 'Yeah, I'll be dead before they even notice.'"

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All in all pretty pessimistic stuff from a man usually so able to find joy, whether it's in the first class torque of a super supercar or merely the thought of a polar bear weeping on a shrinking ice cap.

Perhaps this year's unusually high celebrity fatality count has stunned Jezza into fearing he could go the way of other global cultural icons like David Bowie, Muhammad Ali or Sir Terry Wogan.

In any case, despite the presenter's morbidity, The Grand Tour looks set to be smash hit - the trailer alone attracted 12 million views from petrol heads around the world hungry to ride once again with Clarkson, the one who looks like a slightly crapper Clarkson and the one you always imagine squealing and clapping his hands whenever Clarkson offends Mexicans or punches someone over a steak.