Russia Tells Its People To Prepare For 'Nuclear War With The West'

Scary stuff

Like quality rock music, guilt-free sex and cannabis you can smoke without triggering several hours of severe mental trauma it's easy to think of the threat of nuclear armageddon as a quaint relic from the 1960s.

But if official TV channels in Russia are to be believed, the human race ending in a terrifying blast of skin-searing agony could be closer than we think.

Zvezda, a nationwide TV service run by the country's Ministry of Defence, claimed last week "schizophrenics from America are sharpening nuclear weapons for Moscow."

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

On top of that, Russian's bear-wrestling, shark-punching, tiger bench-pressing President Vladimir Putin proposed this week to a new law that would suspect a Moscow-Washington agreement to dispose of weapons-grade plutonium.

It gets worse. On Friday, Russian officials claimed underground shelters big enough to house the entire population of Moscow – some 12 million people – had been built.

At the root of this rise in Soviet paranoia is the country's recent dispute with Western government over Syria. The US has accused Russia of bombing civilians in the war-torn country and has suspended negotiations with them.

Most Popular

Just the latest expression of the froideur that has characterised US-Russian relations since the Cold War, or something more sinister?

Hard to say, but the facts are that both Russia and NATO have the capacity to launch global-scale nuclear attacks. So it might be worth telling your family you love them now. Or just, y'know, playing with you iPhone for a bit and forgetting about it.

Esquire comes to life on October 13-16 for four days of live interviews, screenings and talks. And there's a bar too. Tickets are limited. Visit esquire.co.uk/townhouse to find out more.