But that doesn't mean being a little more like them - handsome we mean, not rich - is impossible without full-scale plastic surgery (never works anyway) or black magic (ditto).
Instead, take these relatively easy steps to looking incrementally better and see the results within a week. No bullshit, just a little time and effort.
1 | Sort your eyebrows out
For years eyebrows were wrongly assigned only to women's grooming routines, but the truth is they are just as much our problem. As a rule of thumb, anything you can find on your face needs a little upkeep and attention.
Some men are luckily in others in this regard, but we should all be plucking stray hairs and generally stopping things from getting out of control. Consult our grooming guide for full instructions, but basically:
'Pay attention to the spot in the middle, and any errant hairs above and below your brows are also worth staying on top of. Plucking is time-consuming, though, so if needs be ask your barber to tidy your brows up when you're next in.'
Research from M.I.T showed that facial recognition is more dependent on eyebrows than eyes - even more reason not to ignore your furry friends.
2 | Get rid of that extra layer of fluff
Your clothes look significantly less impressive when every hair, loose thread and cat and dog you've approached in the last four months is visible all over your suit jacket.
Invest in a lint roller which you can buy in any big supermarket for less than a coffee - and don't forget to do your back.
3 | Read up on body language
Adopting little tricks, like holding your head up whilst walking through an office, can make you appear more confident and attractive. Angling your body towards someone is also positive move, whether it is with a friend or a romantic interest. For more insights read our list of body language secrets.
4 | Get a spring in your step
A time traditionally for fresh starts, there's a reason they call it a 'spring clean'. Reinvigorate your look immediately by getting rid of all ill-fitting, stained or just plain tragic clothing that are no longer working for you. Remember, as Scott Omelianuk said: "If you're not sure whether it looks good on you, it doesn't." You can even donate them to charity and feel momentarily great about yourself.
Peruse our Style Editor's pick of the items you need to conquer spring here.
5 | Moisturise obsessively
For many men the idea of including a tinted moisturiser in their routine is one step away from swapping their trunks for Speedos. It really shouldn't be given we all look better with a tan and good products will give you a subtle healthy glow nothing like the scene with Ross in Friends.
6 | Refine your dating game
First impressions are important - and not just physically. Do your research when finding a date location, avoid somewhere noisy and don't be staring at your iPhone when she arrives. For a comprehensive first date manual, read this.
Beyond the first date, make sure your textual chemistry is spot on. Here is a foolproof guide.
7 | Sort your pad out
Your home is a reflection of you, whether you like it or not. Whilst totally renovating the place may not be achievable by next week, there are lots of easy de-cluttering and storage solutions that will transform your home quickly.
If that sounds a little too much like hard work, go buy something from this list.
8 | Stand up straight
Posture is a key factor in forming other people's perceptions of us - slouch or hunch over and you appear several stages behind in the evolutionary stakes. If you're plagued by a bad back try putting tape from the nape of your neck down your spine and from one shoulder blade to another. This will correct your posture and remind you to keep your back straight. Kinesiology tape is particularly effective.