How To Get Matches On Tinder

Revealed: what puts women off your profile

Boasting over 50m users and growing rapidly in the UK, mobile phone app Tinder is the latest in a long line of attempts to make hooking up with strangers for sex over the internet easy and stigma-free.

In its brutal simplicity – you simply swipe an endless line of faces either left for 'no thanks' or right for 'too right I would!' – it is also probably the most morally sound.

The usual pitfall for women using dating sites – i.e. thousands of creeps with dubious six-pack avatars sending them modern day sonnets such as 'UR FIT, WANNA FCK?' – is removed. Tinder only connects people who find each other mutually attractive, and no one knows when they've been rejected.

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However the usual pitfall for men using dating sites – i.e. you spend hours picking a photo and writing a smart bio only to get bloody nowhere – remains stubbornly in place.

To help, we enlisted the help of the staff of Harper's Bazaar, Esquire's sister publication, to ask them what the main things are that put women off men on Tinder (not that they have to use it, of course).

Here are the findings.

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"1 | NO posing / selfies. First and foremost. ALWAYS use a picture taken by someone else – no one wants a man with a pout or one who rates himself too highly.

2 | NO girls. Fairly self-explanatory, but with particular reference to sisters or mothers. Or grandmothers, for that matter.

3 | NO topless / greasy / muscle-flexing. It's extremely off putting.

4 | NO fancy dress. With particular reference to superheroes, comedy drag or the Borat mankini.

5 | NO laddy / drunk / falling over shots. Either on your own or with an entourage. That's something we get the inevitable joys of experiencing later on."

Good luck.