When I was a teenager, my sister and I went on holiday to Barcelona. Nice place, especially back then. After we had visited most of Gaudí’s hotspots – beautiful scaffolding on that cathedral! – we took a trip to Barcelona Zoo, or as they call it, Zoo de Barcelona. I’m not sure if you have ventured to this particular zoo, but it is like a lot of other zoos, except that there are murals everywhere for an albino western lowland gorilla called Snowflake. He looked extraordinary in illustrated form: his sturdy physique decked out in a layer of white fur, like a bodybuilder off to a Christmas ballet. We wound our way around the enclosures, checking off the usual meerkats and monkeys. Still no sign of Snowflake. Eventually, we found a sign informing us that Snowflake was euthanised in 2003 following a skin cancer diagnosis. He was 38.

I still think about Snowflake. On his Wikipedia page, under “known for”, it simply says: “Being the world’s only known albino gorilla”. But surely this ape, who was captured in Spanish Guinea and then bought by a primatologist, also had his own habits and hang-ups. He lives on, sort of: he had six children who survived into adulthood, eleven grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren (none of them were albino). Basement Jaxx put him on the cover of their album Rooty. I thought about Snowflake after watching Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, because I remember this albino gorilla 15 years later. I saw the film last night, and not one of these on-screen apes were memorable.

preview for Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes trailer (20th Century Studios)

The film, in cinemas now, is the tenth entry into the franchise, which started with, as you probably know, 1968’s Planet of the Apes. It is also the fourth instalment of the reboot series, which began with 2011’s Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Kingdom, directed by Wes Ball, picks up centuries after the reboot series, as a prequel to the first movies: a worldwide virus has obliterated humans but upgraded apes into talking, urban-planning simians. Phew!

The story? Same, same but different. There is main chimpanzee Noa (played by Owen Teague) and love interest chimpanzee Soona (Lydia Peckham) and wimpy best friend chimpanzee Anaya (Travis Jeffery). After a devastating attack on his village – carried out by evil Bonobo Proximus Caesar (Kevin Durand) – Noa sets out to rescue his friends and family. Maybe he will start a civil war too? Along the way, he meets human Mae (Freya Allan) with whom he strikes up something which resembles friendship. These apes look great and there are some handsome set pieces. The opening sequence in which the three apes go searching for eagle eggs – their clan tames birds, which, sure? – is exhilarating.

But goodness, there are so many apes. The title should have warned me. It’s not just a planet, it’s a kingdom! Of a planet! Of apes! At one point, as we venture into Proximus Caesar’s coastal hideaway, we see all the apes and it is a mish-mash of grey CGI. It is a shame, because I would have been down for this film – I am not averse to summer movie silliness! – if even some of the apes were a little more distinctive, in either personality and appearance. I spent long stretching staring at the screen (IMAX, so I cannot even blame the size) wondering who was a friend, family member or foe to Noa. In total, I could count two apes apart: Soona, who has a middle part because she is a girl, and Raka, who is huge and orange because he is an Orangutan. My kingdom for an albino gorilla. Or anyone with a jaunty Christmas-themed name.

Throughout all this monkey business – I know they’re different but this is my conclusion, let me have it – the most intriguing tension is between Mae and Noa, one that the film would have done well to explore more fully. Can they trust each other? Do they even want to? Are apes as bad as humans? That’s the through line of this entire franchise, now hitting double figures, and it’s why it remains a cut above other blockbuster series. I do not think it takes an evolved ape to work out why that human interaction is important for cinema goers. And you know what? I was never confused by which one Mae was. Because she’s a human. She’s the one wearing a tank top!

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes is out now in cinemas

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Henry Wong
Senior Culture Writer

Henry Wong is a senior culture writer at Esquire, working across digital and print. He covers film, television, books, and art for the magazine, and also writes profiles.