Netflix Is Trialling 1.5x Speed Playback. This Is Why It's A Terrible Idea

Having passed the point of Peak TV and entered the foothills of Peak Streaming some time ago, it feels like there's far, far too much decent stuff for one person to watch in a lifetime. But Netflix seems to be testing out one answer: giving users the choice of watching films and TV faster.

The website Android Police first spotted the functionality, which lets you opt for 0.5x speed or 1.5x speed viewing. "We're always experimenting with new ways to help members use Netflix," Netflix said, confirming the trial. "This test makes it possible to vary the speed at which people watch shows on their mobiles. As with any test, it may not become a permanent feature on Netflix."

Now, unlike a certain type of prestige filmmaker, I'm not a format ultra. If you mention the idea of watching a film on a phone to David Lynch, he'll chase you down the road wielding a bike chain screaming, "You what mate?" (metaphorically). Quentin Tarantino gets so angry at anyone who suggests shooting on digital that he has to be taken to a teepee on set, in which he can rage himself to a standstill. This is known to runners as 'Quent's Vent Tent' (again, metaphorically). If you tell James Cameron that you downloaded The Abyss to watch on the train to Carlisle, he'll take off his top, slap his stomach until it goes all red and hot and do some scary deep grunting (not metaphorically).

But unlike digital cameras and TVs that are smaller than cinema screens, the ability to change speeds is an unnecessary innovation. Slowing down a particular scene might be a fleetingly handy function – you could make the kids on Stranger Things sound mildly pissed, or give The Crown a vapourwave rework – but ultimately it's a feature aimed at people who don't actually like having to sit through films and TV series.

It's more than likely inspired by the weird trend, which emerged a few years ago, of 'hacking' podcasts and audiobooks by playing them sped up. Given the giddiness of some people at this discovery, you'd have thought they'd plugged themselves directly into the Matrix. They thought that getting to the end of Serial in two-thirds of the time made them like Bradley Cooper in Limitless. In reality, it was closer to those tips in Take A Break where some lunatic recommends putting a teabag in clingfilm to use as a hand-warmer.

If you're speeding up films and TV shows just so you can get through them quicker, you're not really watching them. Just as with podcasts, all of the rhythm, nuance and detail gets shaken out when a piece of work that's been calibrated to run at its particular pace is suddenly bouncing around at bone-rattling speeds. The act of watching something becomes less about experiencing a piece of culture, and more about consuming it for the sake of having consumed it. It's absorbing culture just so you can regurgitate its plot at whatever metaphorical water-cooler people congregate around in your WeWork.

That, fundamentally, misses the point of watching films and TV. It's not a race to amass the most stuff in your brain. The sensation that you're missing out on something by not speedballing the hottest content 18 hours a day isn't real. The relentless cycle of hype, then release, then fan theories, then the next hype shouldn't make you feel so bad that you have to destroy the thing you're meant to be enriching your life with. You're meant to enjoy it. Slow down. Take it in. And maybe just sit out the next Marvel spin-off.