It started with a watch. An eager upstart buys a luxury item (it’s a Patek Philippe) for his difficult-to-please future father-in-law. But the old man already has a nice watch (it’s probably a Jaeger-LeCoultre), and certainly has the means to add to his collection himself. What’s the point of it? “Every time you look at it, it tells you exactly how rich you are,” the arriviste proclaims, but that line cannot save the timepiece from landing with the loudest of thuds. Soon enough, the watch finds itself another purpose, passed onto a family who have been mistreated by the old man’s youngest son. And so, the gift becomes something altogether seedier: a bribe.
Let’s call this, one of Succession’s earliest teachings, the Parable of Luxury Watches. Here’s another one. In the most recent episode, “Tailgate Party”, that same gift giver (it’s Tom Wambsgams) buys his now-wife, Shiv, a scorpion encased in resin. Shiv (played by Sarah Snook) doesn’t get it, but Tom (Matthew Macfadyen) thinks it’s obvious: they kill each other. Perhaps if Shiv were cognisant of the Parable of the Scorpion and the Frog, it would have clicked.
A refresher: a scorpion wants to cross a river, and asks a frog to carry him over. The frog is nervous: surely, you, the scorpion will sting me? The scorpion reasons that if it stings the frog, they will both drown. This is logical to the frog, and they set off. Midway through the crossing, the scorpion does indeed sting the frog. The frog, presumably gasping for breath, asks why he would do such a thing. “It’s in my nature,” replies the scorpion. By the end of that explosive episode, it is clear: Shiv is the scorpion, Wambsgams the frog.
It is possible to read all sorts in Succession’s parables, and many viewers are keen to find any note of genius in Jesse Armstrong’s scripture, though for this writer, they raise one obvious question: Why can no one on this show buy a good present?
In the second season, Roman (Kieran Culkin) buys a Scottish football team, Heart of Midlothian, for his father to mark his 50th work anniversary. But Logan (Brian Cox) does not support Hearts, he is a life-long fan of Hibernian. (Logan’s typically restrained response to that fuck-up: “How would I know what team I supported all my fucking life? Maybe I support Kilmarnock, or Fucklechester Rangers?”). Or at Kendall’s (Jeremy Strong) 40th birthday party, his flighty, fun girlfriend, Naomi Pierce (Annabelle Dexter-Jones) buys him a watch. She is visibly nervous. It falls flat. She didn’t even have it engraved, Kendall says. He’s at a low ebb, Naomi’s gift sinks him. Is there a gift receipt? (No one on Succession has ever asked for a receipt.)
Presents signify things; love, gratitude, good manners. On Succession, a show whose characters do not brim with those qualities, they take on less pleasant, though potentially more fascinating, meanings. Everyone within a whispered “fuck you” distance of a Roy pays great attention to symbols: Loro Piana loafers, lifeless, marble-filled apartments. This season’s “ludicrously capacious bag”. Gift giving is an unusually vulnerable time for these characters, then: What would make the perfect gift? What if they don’t like it? Tom, an especially pathetic presence, agonised over his decision. Roman, even in his Season 2 depths, looked like a sad slime puppy when his football surprise bombed.
It is a symptom of having too much money, and not knowing where to direct it. Of thoughtlessness, and lack of attention. It is also a sign, and this is a killer, of just how badly these people understand each other. Four seasons in, and still no one has a clue. The sting in the tail of Tom’s present was a blow out on the balcony with Shiv, destroying any semblance of peace established between them. Naomi and Kendall? Long gone. Roman and Logan’s relationships suffered worse blows than an ill-thought-out gift, but that fundamental misunderstanding remained up to Logan’s death, with a pair of fevered, furious phone calls. Gift buying on Succession can be tragic (Naomi’s doomed watch) and funny (that scorpion is a good gag); often, it is both. It always foreshadows danger.
Leave it to Logan to provide an exception. In Season 3, Episode 2, just as his children warm to the idea of overthrowing him, Logan sends a box of donuts to their meeting place, Kendall’s ex-wife’s apartment. It is the only gift that achieves the giver’s desired effect (it is also surely the cheapest gift on this show); in this case, revealing to his children that he knows exactly where they are, and exactly what they’re doing. Carbohydrate as Trojan Horse. In moments, they are disagreeing over the donuts; Connor wants to try one, Roman is “98% sure those aren’t poisoned”. Kendall rallies, Shiv suspects. The greatest gift of all? Getting exactly what you want.
‘Succession’ airs weekly on Sky and NOW
Henry Wong is a senior culture writer at Esquire, working across digital and print. He covers film, television, books, and art for the magazine, and also writes profiles.
