“Holy mackerel, Batman!” — Robin the Boy Wonder
Verbal abuse in the restaurant industry has been a hot topic lately. This is partly because of an elegantly impassioned speech from River Café founder Ruth Rogers at a recent awards ceremony, and partly Channel 4’s controversial two-minute Twitter trailer, entitled “Gordon Ramsay’s Top Meltdowns”. It’s a furious, foul-mouthed montage from Kitchen Nightmares USA and, boy, does Gordon let rip.
Personally, I prefer a softly-softly approach to the expression of anger and would much rather make my disapprobation known with a gentle euphemism than a flurry of four-letter words. I’m much more Mr Humphries in Are You Being Served? than Mr Ramsay in Hell’s Kitchen. That’s why I love tame expressions like “jeeper’s creepers”, “good golly” and “holy mackerel”. The first two exclamations are almost certainly ways of avoiding taking Jesus and God’s name in vain, despite having already committed to their initial letters. I’m guessing mackerel is a way of swerving “Mary” or “Mother of God”. It became the preferred curse of the Caped Crusader’s sidekick Robin in the highly camp Sixties Batman TV series starring Adam West and Burt Ward, and I’d say that, as a cuss, it is due a revival.
Mackerel is unique. It looks and tastes like no other fish on the market. Its beautiful green and black stripes and distinctive tangy flavour set it apart from all those lowest-common-denominator flaky white fishes that tend to be the default setting on so many restaurant menus and in chippies up and down the land. It also has a thrillingly meaty texture that makes you think you’re getting more than you paid for. It’s not expensive either, being the most ubiquitous catch at this time of year off pretty much the entire south coast of England.
This light lunch, perfect for a summer’s day, uses mackerel fillets, so ask the fishmonger to do the messy work for you. But do not make the mistake of removing the skin. Mackerel scales are so tiny that the skin feels velvety and smooth. It looks stunning and it cooks beautifully.
When plating, don’t worry too much about everything being piping hot as this is effectively a warm salad, so while the fish should be fresh from the pan, the rest is fine at room temperature. And, perhaps counter-intuitively, I’d recommend a lightly chilled red wine to accompany this, Gamay or Refosco, for example. Those cool, fruity varietals go perfectly with the salty flesh of the mackerel.
Russell’s new book Venice: Four Seasons of Home Cooking is published by Penguin Fig Tree and is out now
Mackerel, fennel and cucumber summer salad
Serves four
• 4 fresh mackerel fillets
• 2 medium heads fennel
• 1 medium cucumber
• Extra virgin olive oil
• Flaky sea salt
1. Preheat the oven to 180C. Remove the feathery fronds from the fennel bulbs and set aside. Slice the bulbs 5mm thick lengthways and brush each side generously with olive oil. In a ribbed griddle pan on a high heat, sear each slice to make bold grill lines. Transfer the fennel onto a baking sheet, scatter with salt flakes and a good twist of black pepper, and braise in the oven for 20 mins.
2. Cut ends off the cucumber and, using a speed peeler, pare lengthways to create long, thin ribbons. Set these aside.
3. Wipe the griddle pan clean, add a splash of olive oil and place onto a medium heat. Crunch a little salt over the mackerel fillets and fry on each side for no more than 90 secs (total 3 mins per fillet). Time cooking so the mackerel is finished in the pan just as the fennel is done in the oven.
4. Lay down two or three fennel slices per plate, place a fish fillet on top, and carefully arrange cucumber ribbons so they curl in a haphazard way around the mackerel. Scatter the fennel fronds, add a scant drizzle of olive oil and, finally, crunch over a few more pinches of sea salt flakes.
Russell Norman is the founder of Polpo and Spuntino
