We are but simple creatures on this old and misty isle. We like dinners involving gravy served before 6pm, TV programmes about antiques and horrific car crashes. Oh, and watching Jose Mourinho have evacuation-level meltdowns whenever his team loses against a rival.
We particularly like those.
While an official statement from both Manchester United and City is unlikely to be forthcoming, from what we can piece together of Sunday's brilliant post-derby farce, we can deduce that the following events took place during the tunnel brawl.
- City's players were celebrating loudly in the away dressing room.
- Jose Mourinho was upset.
- City's players were confronted.
- Someone threw milk over Jose Mourinho (we hope it was Yaya Toure).
- Jose Mourinho was VERY upset.
- Everyone got pushed a bit.
- Someone threw a bottle at Mikel Arteta's forehead (thank goodness they missed his perfect hair).
- Michael Carrick asked everyone to calm down... nerd.
- Fin.
But what was the exact catalyst that caused Mourinho to tear ofF his gillet and scream into the City cauldron like a mad goose? Well according to Marca, it was down to him hearing the opposition mock Zlatan Ibrahimovic.
As per the article, Mourinho overheard City's coaching staff saying, "Ibra, you talk a lot but you move a little," which isn't even that funny or sharp, but when you're wound as tightly as Mourinho, it doesn't take much to bring on the red mist.
Apparently all Mourinho wanted was some "respect" from the City players. But really he should respect himself and stop losing to Pep Guardiola.
Ever thought about that, Jose?
