By You might have been woken last night by a persistent popping sound somewhere in the distance, carried on the wind across the Atlantic.
That was the noise of Avengers fans' and journalists heads exploding while watching Avengers: Endgame at its world premiere in LA last night, painting the Los Angeles Convention Centre ceiling a shade of violent crimson with a combination of brains, craniums and miscellaneous viscera having been overwhelmed by the conclusion to the Marvel Cinematic Universe saga.
That's not an overstatement, aside from in the sense of it not being literally true. 'Gushing' scarcely does justice to the tone of the first reactions to Endgame, which hit Twitter last night. According to people who were there, it's a film so vast, so thrilling and so satisfying that it's some combination of The Godfather, Hamlet and the more exciting bits of the New Testament. Don't worry, there are no spoilers ahead.
As we've noted previously, his new bouffant undercut suggests that rock star is a weird mix of Glass Spider-era David Bowie and Live Aid-era Bono.
But we'll leave the most gushing review until last. This is from Slashfilm's Peter Sciretta, who appears to have had some kind of religious experience.
The artistic value of fan service is still up for debate, but given that some cinemas have already block-booked Endgame in for non-stop showings for 96 hours over the first weekend, that's probably a moot point. Chris Hewitt from Empire was a lot more measured than most, but still sounded very much impressed.
It's definitely going to be the biggest film ever, isn't it? There probably haven't been enough numbers invented yet to rack up the box office on this one. Perhaps we'll have to absorb it into culture as a new benchmark of wealth.
"How much did he pay for that massive new house?"
"Dropped half an Endgame on it."
"Blimey. And here I am, scrabbling around for two Suicide Squads to rub together."
