By You know Saw. You know all about it. Man with cancer and a possibly terminal case of the boo-hoos uses convoluted games to separate those who he reckons deserve to live from those who deserve to die in spectacular and gruesome fashion. It's a bit like Se7en but not as clever and there's no Brad and Morgan, and the idea has been spun out into a franchise spanning eight films.
Despite the franchise arguably being in need of a few amputations itself, there is in fact a ninth instalment in the pipeline. But this one, with a story by Chris Rock and co-starring him and Samuel L Jackson, might be about to take a rusty hacksaw to everything you thought you knew about Saw.
You've got a few questions. We'll answer them all.
Is it a straight sequel to whatever the last Saw film was?
Unclear. As Rock has said that the whole thing came about because he met someone from Saw producer Lionsgate at a friend's wedding, and spent most of the conversation taking the piss out of Saw, it doesn't seem likely. Plus, the full title of Spiral is Spiral: From the Book of Saw. Be prepared for lots of phrases like 'spiritual successor' and 'shared universe' to pop up. It's code for 'this franchise has been going on so long nobody can be arsed making it all make sense anymore'.
Is someone going to learn to value their life by being exposed to death and etc etc etzzzz
Unclear, but probably. That's basically the point, isn't it. Though you do wonder exactly how open you'd be to lessons from someone who's just poured acid into your lungs. "Ah yes," you might gargle, "some really useful takeaways from this."
Is it True Detective with reverse bear-traps?
A crime from the past investigated by two cops? Could be. Rock plays Detective Zeke Banks and Jackson is his retired dad Marcus, who was also in the police.
That cop with a picture of his wife and kids is going to die, isn't he?
Absolutely.
Will it be any good?
No idea, but judging by the very handsome and mysterious poster – and the presence of two actors people have actually heard of – it does seem to be pointing itself towards the premium end of the 2020 horror film reboot-but-not-a-reboot scale. At the very least, it should elevate the idea of trapping people in a particularly spicy escape room. The last couple of films have been as gripping as the obligatory fox-chicken-grain brainteaser bit of a corporate away-day.
Will Samuel L Jackson say "motherfucker"?
By god, he will.
Will anyone say "do you want to play a game?" or some derivative thereof?
Yes! In fact, Sam Jackson rolls both essential elements into one sentence: "You wanna play games, motherfucker?"
Will Spiral be part of the extended Jules Winfield universe?
"Games, motherfucker, do you play them?"
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