By I bought my first pair of ‘ugly’ trainers last month. I have big feet and short legs, you see, so the brilliant-white, oversized shoes looked even more brilliant-white and oversized on me than the brand intended. People on the street pointed and murmured as I galumphed past. Toddlers asked their mothers why the sad man was wearing the strange shoes. And one colleague, concerned for my lumbar, asked if they were prescribed by a medical professional.
It was a lesson in trend management. That is to say, not all of them are right for everyone. (I should have learned my lesson after the great millennial pink disaster of 2017.) But thankfully, some are. Chunky-soled loafers, for example, give every man an inch or two more height, and I’ve yet to see a guy that doesn’t look objectively more handsome after getting a Peaky Blinders-style haircut. Granted he looks like every other guy in town, but still; a bit better.
The current trend for roll neck knitwear is one of those benevolent fads that suits all dudes. Having never really been into the turtle neck thing, I’ve recently about-turned and bought loads. The first was plain black, by Japanese brand Beams Plus (it comes in white, too). Its cut from cotton jersey, rather than wool, so it’s much cooler, and good for layering under stuff (I wore mine under a denim overshirt). Scores of totally stylish lads at the recent menswear shows in London, Florence, Milan and Paris were layering up roll necks. It offers serious collar flex, and sneaky warmth. And a pedestal for a sick medallion, if that’s your vibe. It was my gateway rollneck.
Next came a forest green merino wool number from Uniqlo, which I can wear with a suit. It’s worth getting one in back, grey and blue, too, as they offer a cosy out when you haven’t got any clean shirts. Make sure to mix it up, though. You don’t want to be the office roll neck guy. No one trusts the office roll neck guy.
The best of this winter’s abundant crop of roll necks (and what I’m wearing most now that my neck is turtled at all times) is chunky and voluminous. Something oversized that’s a touch baggy at the neck and hangs off the shoulder. A statement number that you can tuck it into your trousers, should the idea take you. The cult pick is from Ami – I saw loads of hip dudes wearing them as they angled for a papping outside fashion shows last month – but plenty of brands are offering their take on the trend. Joseph is one, YMC is another, and if you want to go really big time, then this cable knit brown number from Connolly is worth a look. And proper masters of the cashmere universe will want to stop in at Berluti and Ralph Lauren Purple.
Alternatively, you can just buy a regular roll neck that’s three sizes too big, but bear in mind you’ll have too much sleeve. Then again, there’s always the chance sleeves will be totally in next season, and you’ll be ahead of the game. Might be worth a gamble.
