Oh, would you look at that: shorts weather. And nobody wants it. For probably the first time in human history, summer isn’t being welcomed with open arms and warm Aperol on the park and joy and mirth and regrettable late-night encounters. That’s because parks (and friends, and dating) are closed. But like it or not, the mercury will still climb. Your layers will shed. You will still need a pair of shorts.
As you rustle through old favourites, like tailored chino shorts – the classic ones – or perhaps three-quarter, skater-y, hand-painted shorts – very cool and current, look at you – there's an essential pair missing; a pair mightier and more practical, yet still in the doldrums of the menswear 'zeitgeist' (you know, that vague, hype-y defining spirit of the general mood). They're called Gurkha shorts. The fanfare is most justified, too – and not just from the charitable heart of the lovely IRL Nick Park creation, Joanna Lumley.
Named after the legion of Nepalese soldiers who wore them, the former enemies of the British Empire were so ferocious and scary and hard that our army did what any sound tactician would do: they invited them in. Which meant a new uniform that encompassed one pair of practical, long shorts: high-waisted, barrel-legged, pleated, and fitted with an adjustable interlocked belted waistband (handy for weight loss during unforgiving missions in the Himalayas, handier still for Pitti Uomo regulars that frequented the pasta cart a few too many times).
It was another military draft to menswear's canon, though one not quite as ubiquitous as trench coats, or big romper stomper boots. Which is silly, really. For Gurkha shorts are the perfect Venn diagram of all the shorts in shorts land. They're baggy, but not the "yeahhh Limp Bizkit dude" baggy of sleazeballs past. They're a boxy sort of baggy: the polished, Jil Sander kind; the grown-up way to do over-the-knees without looking like a pensioner washing his car. And it's in-step with fashion's wider preoccupation with, well, going wide.
"I'm a big fan of big baggy shorts," says Lee Goldup, menswear buyer at Browns. "There's been a lot out there at the moment, and there's a number of ways to get a very different look. There're classic Nineties styles favoured by skaters and grunge kids, and there are the super-wide drop crotch shorts of Rick Owens and Comme des Garçons.And finally, there's a smarter vibe reminiscent of the Fifties enabled by the tailored kind". Into which gurkha shorts land comfortably.
Though despite the polished edge (a good thing), there's true versatility at play (an even better thing). With your top half tucked in, and the signature waistband on show, you can lean into the Gurkha shorts heritage. Slide on an Oxford shirt, slip into a loafer, and make-believe you're a Cambridge grad who had his romance with Clara from the Classics department cut short by the war effort. Or, let boxy complement boxy. Gurkha shorts have the distinct ability to chime with big billowy, over-elbow T-shirts above; a deft move for the broader shouldered, and surefire way to look like anyone who has ever worked at the Cos head office. The look is, naturally, finished with two black leather sandals below.
And of course, there's comfort. The Gurkhas were known for just getting on with it. They didn't mess about. So, when it came to blasting through the ranks of land-grabbing Brits and then an eventual blasting through the ranks of retaliatory British enemies, the shorts they wore needed to abet such hijinks. The legs are breezy, and allow for movement. A cotton construction is breathable. They won't ride up like swim shorts you've allowed on dry land, nor will they take an age to dry should you get a bit hot and bothered.
They are, in short, perfect for shorts weather. Maybe this summer thing won't be so bad after all.
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