Brexit Is Going To Raise The Price Of A Fry Up

Surely now it's time to revolt

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Cancel the negotiations. Put May on the first train back from Brussels. Erase the referendum from the history books and pretend it just never happened. The horrifying true cost of Brexit is taking shape, and no truly patriotic Brit will stand for it.

The cost of a fry-up is set to go up.

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A new study by KPMG suggests that key ingredients of the Full English – and we're talking about sausage and bacon here, not fried tomatoes – could all rise in price is the government fails to sign a trade deal with the European Union, inflating the cost of the dish by a morning-ruining £2.60.

The crux of it is that, if the UK has to trade under World Trade Organisation custom rules rather than at EU prices, stuff like Danish bacon, Spanish orange juice and French butter would sneak up by as much as 25%.

KPMG director Bob Jones said: "If the UK leaves the EU without a trade deal or transitional agreement, we can expect both higher prices and a huge spike in red tape at the borders.

"Our analysis does not even reflect the steep costs consumers and retailers are already facing as a result of the pound sterling's devaluation or the costs of any new non-tariff barriers."

Jesus H Christ.

We hope Nigel Farage, Boris Johnson and Michael Gove – whose face ironically resembles an uncooked fry up – are pleased with themselves.