Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Or is it a mutant mouse wearing a state of the art weapons system? No, it’s Walt Disney's men sitting on cloud nine having snapped up Marvel Comics and their roster of superheroes for a massive $4 billion. Here at Esquire we can only begin to imagine what kind of weird and wonderful creations will come out of the new Disney-Marvel gene splicing machine. So, without further ado, let us take you on a journey to a kingdom far, far away…
1. Iron Mouse: Protected by a suit of armour laden with powerful military weapons, this is a mouse not to be messed with. However, it’s not easy being cheesy and when Iron Mouse isn’t inventing new technologies in his laboratory, he’s saving the world.
2. Spiderella: By day Peter Parker is a humble photographer, but as soon as night falls, he dons a white frilly dress and a pair of glass shoes. Yes, this elusive superhero does end up at the ball with his fairy godmother, but arrives too late to save Princess Charming from the evil green goblin.
3. The Incredible Hood: Unfortunately not all superheroes are fighting for what is good and what is right. This big green one steals from the rich but keeps all the profits for himself, which he spends on expensive residential anger-management classes.
4. Wall-E-rine: Part man, part wolf and part robot, Wall-E-rine was originally designed to clean up human waste. However, after sprouting strange long metal claws, he decided to leave the cleaning profession and begin his own group of renegade mutant superheroes.
5. Captain Beauty: After being injected with an experimental serum by the US Army, this comic book hero was given the extraordinary power of vanity. Now Captain Beauty cannot help but look in the mirror. However, every time he does, he falls asleep for 100 years. James Haigh