Grotesque synthetic fabrics: 1 - style: 0.
We're at the point in the Premier League where results are starting to matter, points are adding up and decisions will have to be made. But one thing's certain - there are a whole lot of lot of ugly kits this season.
As Fergie knows, a bad kit can hurt in more ways than one. While there's been few things as drastic as the half time kit change back in 1996, there have been some horrendous kits. Here's our pick of the worst out there this season.
Some things fail so badly we have problems pinpointing exactly where it went wrong. This kit is one of those things. Maybe it's the grey and black with a hint of neon yellow that's wrong, maybe it's the fact that it's made by gym wear/fat suppression experts Under Armour, we don't know. Whatever it is, the less we see of this kit, the better.
Remember tribal tattoos? They were awful. So too, by sheer coincidence, is the Liverpool kit, which features faux-tats on both sleeves. The end result is baffling, and a very specific brand of 'tasteless'.
We've always been confused by hi-visibility kits in football. They tend to make players look like construction workers, and they're unnecessary - we have stadium lighting for a reason. Incidentally, a word of advice to Villa; keep Stephen Ireland away from the kit design room, we've seen how he dresses on his days off.