Who is Phil Brown actually talking to?

We were going to run a Don't Get the Look piece on Hull City Manager Phil Brown in honour of his failed dandyish take on managers' jackets and that experiment with sculpted sideburns. But more bewildering is the question of who the hell he actually talks to on that ridiculous headset.

1 A-Z minicabs, West Yorkshire - "Yeah, ok luv. Bear with me, we've got nothing at all until after the press conference. Your driver's name is Jimmy Bullard."

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2 Orange Customer Care line, Mumbai - "I'm looking for an upgrade on - hold on a sec - BASTARD, BASTARD, SHITHOUSE! How did Nicky Barmby miss that? Sorry, hello - yes, the new Nokia 518."

3 Sam Allardyce - "Sam, good to hear from you pal. What's that? You've got the 1988 hands-free model too. Cracking 'int it?"

4 World of leather- "Yeh, I'm interested in the cream leather corner suite. No, keep the plastic seat covers on please."

5 The voices in his head - "I will become South Shields' answer to Jose Mourinho, I will!"